After two days of silence or deflection, the White House eagerly called a mid-morning press conference to disclose what they are calling, “all the proof anyone should ever need” in connecting President Obama to the alleged wire tapping of then Presidential candidate, Donald Trump.
Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, strutted to his podium with a renewed swagger and a photograph that was blown up to poster size so the entire press corp could get a good look. “Ha ha! We told you mother fuckers!!!” an excited Spicer proclaimed. He then continued, “this picture shows the contents of a drawer from the President’s desk. The President opened this drawer for the first time on Friday, before leaving for Florida.”
The drawer appears to be a Presidential junk drawer, used by all three previous Commander-in-Chiefs. The space was subdivided into 3 compartments, each labeled with a specific president. The contents included:
- Clinton space: About two dozen expired condoms
- W. Bush space: A Conway Twitty cassette
- Obama space: A sticky note that reads, “Wire Tap Trump”, and is signed “Obama”
It appears that this case is officially closed. Obama has declined to comment.