JUST IN: Breitbart Photo Placing Obama and Clinton at Trump Tower Executing Wire Tap!

It’s been nearly 36 hours since President Donald Trump put out an extremely damaging tweet directed at former President, Barack Obama.  Trump claimed that Obama had tapped the phones at Trump Tower during the 2016 Presidential elections.  Obama has denied this claim and people have called for Trump to provide evidence to support such a bold accusation.  Trump has just released his supporting evidence: a photograph owned by Breitbart News which shows Obama AND Hillary Clinton disguised as phone men in a Trump Tower parking lot.

Spokesmen for both Obama and Clinton have released statements essentially pointing out that the two people seen in the photo are clearly NOT Obama nor Clinton.  “There is a black guy and a white lady, neither of which look like Hillary or Barack.  Is this some sort of fucking joke?”

At this point, we’re not sure what to make of this still developing story.  We’ve sent the photo to a forensic lab to test for authenticity.


Group of Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil Monkeys Elect Tom Perez DNC Chair

A large gathering of 448 deaf, dumb, and blind Democratic National Committee members gathered at the Westin Peach Tree Plaza Hotel in Atlanta and in a stunning display of lack of self-awareness and self-reflection elected Tom Perez as their Chairman. Perez, who is both an Obama and Clinton Appointee and who has many ties with the corporate wing of the Democratic party, was voted in by a 54% margin of Democratic leaders who are apparently totally oblivious to the fact that they lost the last election, Trump is President, they control neither House of Congress, and have lost all but a third of the States. Incognizant of the fact that their ideas and strategies have lead to crushing defeats in the last four election cycles Democratic leaders decided to ”stay the course.

One of the heedless monkeys was on record as saying “Deb was great, she’s such a wonderful human being and she did really great things for the party, Tom Perez is going to have some big shoes to fill.” (Debbie Wasserman Shultz was forced to resign in disgrace after Wikileaks released a collection of Emails clearly showing that she rigged the primary in favor of Sec. Hillary Clinton over Sen. Bernie Sanders) Another nescient, inattentive primate in attendance, who was inexplicably given a vote in the contest, stated, “Clinton didn’t do anything wrong, no mistakes were made. If anything she should have given more speeches for Goldman Sachs. We can’t sit back and allow the other side to be the only party whose politicians are wholesale owned by corporations and Wall Street banks, we’ll never win again unless we act exactly Republicans.”