Trump Touts Safer Cities – Signs Retard Gun Bill

Last night, the President addressed the Congress and the American people during an hour long speech.  The theme – a safer America.  Trump didn’t have any problems talking the talk, largely because just moments before the speech, he already walked the walk.

(This is all actually true) Before taking to the podium, the President signed an order to rollback the controversial Obama decision to ban mentally retarded people from owning firearms.  (back to not so true information)  When asked why the President decided to put guns back into the hands of adults that aren’t capable of operating a car, Press Secretary Sean Spicer said, “It’s really a no-brainer.  What better way to keep Americans safe then by arming as many people as possible, including the retarted?” Spicer continued, “I do want to be clear about one thing… this doesn’t include all tards.  Muslim and Mexican tards still can’t be strapped.”

We reached out to Joe Roberts, a retarded American who had his gun stripped from him during the Obama administration, for comment.  Roberts enthusiastically answered.  “YEAH!!!  Bang Bang!  Buck Ofama!!!  YEAH!!!”


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