Congressional Women Debut New Dress Code that Aims to End “Lewinsky Stains”

The results of one of President Trump’s early executive orders was on full display last night as Congressional women showed up to the Presidential address adhering to their new dress code.  The order reads as follows:

“Any woman, broad, floozy, hussy, spinster, hose hound, or any of the like whom decides to enter a government building should do so only in clothes that are white or off white in color.  There will be no exceptions to this rule moving forward.”

The administration offered very little reasoning for this new dress code, but sources close to the President are reporting that it has to do with “Lewinsky staining”.  Our source tells us, “the President sure as hell doesn’t want his cum on any of them broads’ dresses.  That’s what brought Big Bill Clinton down.  Those who don’t learn from history are bound to repeat it or something like that.”

We’re also receiving reports that Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon & Reince Priebus all tested the new policy on multiple women prior to the address.  So far, the new wardrobe has performed admirably.

 

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