Yesterday, President Donald Trump spoke at the CPAC conference, an annual meeting of old white people who don’t get laid often enough, and continued his assault on the media. The President reiterated his position that the media is the “enemy of the American people”, but this time, the administration didn’t stop at rhetoric. Shortly after Trump’s comments, reporters from CNN, ABC & The New Times were denied access to the daily White House press meeting.
Not coincidentally, just a few hours before the events described above, The Daily Fabricator’s Facebook account was disabled. Instead of seeing our feed, The Fabricator was greeted with a message asking for us to provide a valid government ID, presumably to confirm that we aren’t Mexican, Muslim, liberal, transgender, second guessers of the almighty and all powerful Trump, or women. We reluctantly submitted the required documentation but still haven’t received a response from Facebook or The White House.
The story doesn’t end with the silencing of a media outlet responsible for delivering fake news to nearly 62 readers worldwide. At 11 a.m., yesterday, conservative contributor Ben Wright was forcefully removed from his home in Utah and sent to Guantanamo Bay, which has been completely revamped for it’s new purpose, media detention center. Senior Editor, Jake Burg was on the phone with Ben as he was forcefully removed from his home. Jake said that Ben was, “squealing like a little girl,” and that the agents who were removing Ben kept referring to “lots of lube… all over him,” which was making Wright difficult to contain.
Another contributor, John Springsteen, has been held up in a tornado bunker close to his Wisconsin home. John has no power or means of communication at the moment. John did manage to send a handwritten letter to The Fabricator via carrier pigeon. The note conveyed a sense of desperation as John explains, “It’s hell down here. I don’t even have the internet to masturbate to!”. The note also displayed John’s very poor grasp of the English language and poor handwriting. Thank God for spellcheck.
That’s where things stand. As of now, you, our 62 readers (on a good day) are our voice. Please share this with as many people as possible. We will not be silenced!