Trump Appoints Milo to New Cabinet Position

Controversial “alt-right” personality, Milo Yiannopoulos, who recently resigned from his position as editor at Breitbart following questionable statements regarding pedophilia, has been appointed to a brand new cabinet position in the Trump administration.  Yiannopoulos will be the first ever Secretary of Man/Boy Relationships.  The White House issued the following statement:

“President Trump is very excited to welcome Milo Yiannopoulos as the first Secretary of Man/Boy Relationships.  It’s not often that someone as capable as Milo becomes available.  Milo is the best gay in the world, as far as we can tell.  He has the unique ability to demoralize others for being different, while he prances around as a flamboyant queer.  We applaud his honest, and candid, answer regarding having sex with 13 year old boys.  Everyone knows that 13 year olds are fair game.  Grass on the field, play ball.”

While the creation of this new post is certainly controversial, the qualifications of the appointment cannot be questioned.  Milo has received overwhelming bipartisan support in the senate, who expects a confirmation by the end of the day.

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