Breaking News out of Palm Beach, Florida where authorities have confirmed that radio personality Rush Limbaugh was found dead in his broadcasting studio after he suffered a shattered skull as result of excessive internal pressure. According witnesses, and those listening to the broadcast at the time, he had just come upon a USA Today Article detailing a C-SPAN Poll of historians who ranked Barrack Obama as the 12th best President in U.S. History.
As he read the title of the article aloud one of his long time producers noticed his eyes began twitching uncontrollably. He began the rant that followed by saying “Well this is just a case of Obama getting everything he wants because he’s black and he gets all the perks of black privilege. We all know he’s stocked all the historians with NAACP fanatics. “ As his volume increased his neck and head began to swell to roughly double its already double size. “Notice how this liberal propagandist poll doesn’t even include President Jefferson Davis at all, when anyone who listens to this show knows Davis was on the most genius human beings to ever live, next to Steve Bannon, and he didn’t even make the list.”
He then reached into a sugar bowl, grabbed a handful of oxycodone and hydrocodone pills and swallowed them down between sentences. He continued, “If this were a real poll done by real historians who knew what the hell they were talking about Ronald Reagan would have easily been numbers 1-15, they would have mentioned at least some of the white Presidents (The Daily Fabricator has confirmed that all of the other Presidents on the list are or were white) ”
By this point one of Limbaugh’s eyeballs had already popped out his head and the empty socket was making a whistling sound causing feed back interference in his sound equipment. His final words were “He’s only been in office a month and already Mein Fuhrer Trump…” As he was speaking them, uncontainable building tension caused the violent detonation of his entire cranium. Funeral arrangements are currently being made and sources have confirmed that a local piano moving company was contacted to assist with pall bearing.