The Daily Fabricator had the privilege of conducting the first candid interview with former President Barack Obama since he left the office just over one month ago.
Barack Obama. The first black President of the United States. I man who, over his eight years as leader of the freeworld, became known for his stoic demeanor and poise. A leader who kept his cool in the face of adversity. There are plenty of Americans who would love to argue his politics, but none that can make a legitimate complaint regarding his class (this becomes more evident each day of the new administration).
But that’s not the man sitting in front of me today. It appears that man was left in Washington. The Obama that I sit with is much more relaxed, less rehearsed, and a little more unpredictable.
“What’s up, mother fucker?” Obama greets me with a high five. “How the fuck you been?” He continues, “Yo, Michelle, get this mother fucker some hot fries and a drank.” We exchange pleasantries for a few minutes, and then I ask Obama what’s the best part of not being President anymore? He answers without a second of hesitation, “Man, I’m happy to get to do black people shit again. You know what I mean?” I sit and silently shake my head no. “Yeah you do,” the former President replies to my nod and then continues, “shit like going to barbecues, driving badly (but not as bad as Asians), showing up 20 minutes late, going to Earth, Wind & Fire concerts. Shit like that.”
The President is jovial in his responses as we rap for hours on subjects ranging from the new Eazy-E Greatest Hits album to the age old debate of original recipe vs. extra crispy. The day slips away from us, our only measurement of time is the expanding pile of empty Old English 40oz bottles.
“Fuck, you better get your white ass out of here. It’s getting late.” Obama extends his hand to offer me a final shake. As I move in, he quickly pulls his hand back then laughs at me and tells me to, “Get the fuck on”. Sure thing, Mr. President.