Ben Wright’s Conservative Wet Dreams

GOOD MONDAY MORNING, LIBTARDS!  HOPE YOU GUYS HAD AWESOME WEEKENDS LISTENING TO FAKE NEWS OR PROTESTING OR WHATEVER YOU FUCKING FAGS DO.  I HAVE A REAL TREAT FOR YOU GUYS TODAY.  I’M ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT DOING THIS PIECE EVERY MONDAY MORNING… WE’LL SEE (THAT’S CALLED A CLIFFHANGER).

A LITTLE BACKGROUND – MY CONSERVATIVE VALUES ARE SO STRONG, I HAVE GAINED COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY SEXUAL URGES AND IMPULSES.  I’VE TRAINED MY BODY TO HAVE A SCHEDULED WET DREAM EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT.  I’VE BEEN DOING THIS BADASS ROUTINE FOR ABOUT 12 YEARS NOW.  I’VE NEVER MISSED A SUNDAY NOR HAVE I EVER RELEASED ON ANY OF THE OTHER 6 DAYS.  I’VE DECIDED TO SHARE THE SUBJECTS AND PARTICIPATING CHARACTERS IN THESE DREAMS.  IT SHOULD HELP YOU GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF JUST HOW BADASS A CONSERVATIVE MINDSET IS.

HERE WE GO…

LAST NIGHT’S WET DREAM WAS A FUCKING WILD ONE, EVEN BY MY STANDARDS!  IT STARTED OUT AT A REGULAR OLD NRA MEETING (THAT ALONE ALMOST MAKES ME CUM, LOL) WHEN OUT OF THE BLUE, THEY ANNOUNCE THE SPECIAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER… RONALD MOTHER FUCKING REAGAN (THINGS ARE GETTING MOIST)!!!  RONNY WRAPS UP THE SPEECH AND I START TOWARDS THE EXIT.  AS I’M ABOUT TO EXIT OUT THE DOUBLE DOORS, I FEEL A LARGE, STRONG HAND GRAB MY SHOULDER.  THEN I HEAR A DEEP VOICE SAY, “HEY BEN.  WANT GO HAVE A THREESOME WITH ME AND BETH?”  I TURN AROUND, AND IT’S DOG THE MOTHER FUCKING BOUNTY HUNTER AND HIS BIG-TITTIED WIFE BETH (NOW I’M REALLY FLOWING)!!!  YOU’RE GOD DAMNED (SORRY LORD)  RIGHT I WANT BUMP UGLIES WITH THESE TWO SEX POTS!

SO WE GO TO MR. & MRS. DOG’S TRAVEL TRAVEL.  LET ME TELL YOU, WHEN THE DOOR CLOSED SHIT GOT INTENSE.  WE ALL JUST LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND KNEW IT WAS ABOUT TO GET REAL IN THAT TRAILER.  BUT BEFORE DOG COULD TEAR OF MY PANTS, THE MOTHER FUCKING DUGGARS (19 KIDS AND COUNTING) JOINED THE PARTY!  HOLY FUCKING SHIT, TALK ABOUT A COUPLE OF FREAKS.

THINGS GOT ROCKING AND DIDN’T STOP FOR HOURS.  WE’D ALL HAD IT.  WE WERE SPENT.  JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO BANDAGE UP MY PENIS AND HIT THE ROAD, THE DOOR OPENS AGAIN.  THERE HE STOOD.. RONALD REAGAN.  FOR THE SAKE OF MR. REAGAN’S PRIVACY, I’M NOT GOING TO REVEAL ANY DETAILS ABOUT HIS PARTICIPATION.  I WILL TELL YOU THAT THE SENILE OLD BASTARD LIKES TO BE CALLED NANCY.  WHAT A RIDE!

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