Early this morning, Beyonce Knowles Carter gave birth to eight white toddlers. This came as a surprise to friends and family, who were expecting just two black babies. Our sources are telling us that the litter included six boys and two girls. In an effort to keep things simple, Beyonce has named the children based on the order they were delivered. There’s Juan, Tu, Threigh, Phore, Fyve, Cyx, Sven and 8.
Jay-Z is fuming over the eight, overgrown white babies. People close to the couple said that he was so angry he bought Beyonce the shitty furniture seen in the photo and had it delivered to her. Burn!