FOR SALE!!! In Wake of Ivanka Plug, White House Doubles Down. Plans for ‘New Mall’

Kellyanne Conway is the latest “Trumper” to cause waves in Washington as pundits begin to speculate, “do any of these people have a fucking clue?”  Yesterday, Conway shamelessly plugged Ivanka Trump’s clothing line, which was dropped from a major department store earlier in the week.  Conway’s marketing campaign violates almost every ethics law ever put in place anywhere, and is a clear departure from the ideology of the previous 44 administrations, “common fucking sense”.

It should come as no surprise that Trump and his staff aren’t backing down for their latest example of incompetence.  In fact, they’re doubling down.  A statement from the White House was issued this morning stating “We are proud of Kellyanne not being ashamed of her capitalist foundation. Whoever wrote those ethics rules was clearly a commie liberal and we are working on repealing and replacing them AS WE SPEAK!”  The statement continues, “Furthermore, it is our intention to begin a full scale ‘re-imagination’ of the National Park currently called ‘The National Mall’.  The park has become dated and no longer relevant in the Twitter era (and 95% of the people agree with this).  We will be replacing it with a state of the art, mixed-use shopping plaza called ‘The Trump Mall’.”

The Washington D.C. Division of Buildings and Permits has confirmed that an architectural firm named “Donald Trump Doesn’t Own This Firm & Associates” has filed the paperwork to begin the process.  Some of the stores listed on the application are “Rage – by Sean Spicer”, “Steve Bannon’s Kill-A-Lib Workshop”, and a “Twitter Store” that Twitter says they know nothing about.

supergirlPresident Trump has declined to comment further on the building plans, but he did offer support (kind of) for Kellyanne Conway.  “I’m thrilled that she said that,” Trump explains, “I have a policy around here that whenever Kellyanne fucks up, she has to put on her Super Girl costume and blow me.  I don’t think she’ll be making any more comments while that’s going on.  LOL (he actually said “L-O-L”)”

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